Forgiveness

forgive [fəˈgɪv]

vb -gives, -giving, -gave, -given

1. to cease to blame or hold resentment against (someone or something)

2. to grant pardon for (a mistake, wrongdoing, etc.)

3. (tr) to free or pardon (someone) from penalty

4. (tr) to free from the obligation of (a debt, payment, etc.)

[Old English forgiefan; see for-, give]

Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

 

The deeper the injury the harder forgiveness is. 

 

I wrote a letter to my abuser when I was about 25 years old. 

 

The first emotion that I can recall feeling in my life was anger and hate.  I didn't know what was going on.  At eight I did not have any way to understand what was going on.  But I knew I did not like it and was angry.

Rage     Hysterics     Nightmares     Fear     Headaches     Introverted      Codependent     Depressed

 

I was a prisoner.  I didn't trust anyone and I so wanted to trust someone.  I trusted all the wrong people.  I retreated into reading to escape.  I lived in fantasy worlds where there were happy endings.

 

Then I wrote the letter and mailed it. 

 

Was it because I had a religious moment of discovery?

Did God put forgiveness in my heart?

 

Wouldn't that have been nice...No.  I just decided that my hatred and anger at him only hurt me.  I had to release that. 

 

And I lived happily ever after...No.  It was the beginning of healing that is still going on today. 

 

Now- forgiveness for me does not equal being new BFF's.  It means that I give up all rights to revenge, to speak of this person in a negative way or to wish, want or relish any harm to this person. 

 

But forgiveness is biblical.  Our salvation is described as forgiveness of sin.  God forgives us from every violation of His law.  We are then required to pass that forgiveness along. 

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matt 18:21-35)

²¹ Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

²² Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. ²³ Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. ²⁶ The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ ²⁷ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

²⁸ “But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet^[d] and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’^{[e] 30} And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. ³¹ So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. ³² Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. ³³ Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ ³⁴ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

³⁵ “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”^[f]
It's pretty important. 

See...forgiveness is a commandment.  He would not say it was required if we could not do it.  It is not based on our "feeling" forgiveness.  It's about being obedient to God.  It's a choice.  Today choose to forgive someone who has hurt, mistreated or betrayed you.  Be Blessed.