You are not alone...

If you have read my introduction, you know that I have survived much. 

Before I don't think that I believed I had survived it.  It's sort of the difference between surviving a car accident with a broken arm versus surviving it with a traumatic brain injury. You live either way, but it's a matter of the quality of life.

But worse than the abuse and the guilt and the fear was the loneliness.

The feeling that you don't belong.  That there is something different and wrong about you.  The fear that someone would take a look at you and know. 

The need to hide the sadness and the fear behind happy smiles and good grades. Sleep and alcohol.  Pills and drugs. 

You think that no one understands....
And sometimes they don't.   They can't....

I didn't get out of bed, not because I'm lazy, but because I can't pretend one more day.

I drink, drug, party, sex not because I enjoy it, but because for an hour the voices in my head are silent.  Or I cut myself because it's the pain I can control that distracts me from the pain I can't control.

If you've never felt overwhelming depression, panic, anxiety, fear, paranoia, delusions, you can't understand it.  You may doubt it is real or think it's over exaggerated.

IT'S REAL!!!
IT REALLY HURTS THIS MUCH!!
I'M DYING INSIDE!!!

But..there is an answer.  God can heal.  Tell someone!!  Preacher, Teacher, Mom, Dad, a Crises Counselor. Tell someone!! If that doesn't work, TELL SOMEONE ELSE.

Then you can begin to exchange Satan's LIES for God's Truth.  It's not a short journey or an easy journey, but I promise you can have peace and joy and happiness.