Why Do We Have Children??

Why do people have children?  I really doesn't make sense.  With the economy, the crime, the hate and the disease, why would you bring something so pure into this world.  Babies come into this world so pure and innocent and it doesn't take long for the world to grab them up.  Even if you try you best to protect them from the pedophiles and the strangers, what can you do about the natural disasters and the mental and physical illnesses?  What can you do about the freak accidents and the misspoken meanness we use in moments of frustration? We want to protect them from everything, but sometimes we can't even protect them from our bad choices...their bad choices...someone else's bad choices.

I though of this only because I tried to understand why God created us.  It doesn't make much sense.  Being God, He new the moment he conceived the idea what the end result would be.  He knew about the snake and the flood and the idolatry and man's inhumanity to man and the cost to Jesus.  We don't know the end of the story from the beginning of our children's lives but God knew.

We were made in the image of God.  I think His motivation is our motivation today.  To Love.  We know that our children will one day go their own way despite our best guidance.  That some will thrive and some will be lost.  Some will live beyond us and some will not.  We Hope.  We will love them wherever they go, near or far, for as long as they live.

GOD loves us.  God LOVES us.  God loves US.  He always will.  And we may doubt and we may stumble and we may fall and we may never love Him back but none of that change the fact GOD LOVES US.  He wrote it into our DNA.  He paints it in sunrises and sunsets.  He yells it in the thunder.  He whispers it in our ears.  He hugs us with the wind.  He ruffles our hair in the breeze.  He brushes our cheeks with tree leaves.  He waves to us with bird wings.  He weeps with us in the rain.  He mourns for us with the clouds.  He encourages us with the sun and the rainbows after a storm.  When you see a dandelion (weed..I think not) or a bird perched on a bush looking straight at you.  When a complete strangers smiles at you with or a child waves at you.  Remember GOD LOVES YOU!!  Be blessed.

HEAVEN

Heaven
A sister and I were talking about Jesus coming back. How awesome is that? I’m going to give my thoughts about heaven.

1. Heaven is For Real-We are fortunate to have Mr. Bill Smith as an Elder who brings the concept of heaven from the pages of scripture to the fertile ground of the imagination. Heaven is real in a way that this world is only a training ground. We have dual citizenship. I am a resident of USA, Earth but also a citizen of Kingdom of God, Heaven.

2. Harps-ok if you want to-I use to think about how boring Heaven would probably be—sitting around on clouds playing harps—for ETERNITY. If God made our temporary home this awesome and full of wonders how much more awesome will heaven be. This is what I see is picnics and concerts. I want to learn how to play the piano and have lots of time to learn. I use to think that we would get all this “knowledge” in heaven, but then I think about my kids. I think of the pleasure I get when I see them learning something new. I think God feels this way about us. Our eternity will be filled with new thing to learn and do. One day this strange new plant will sprout up and some chef will say I can make some new wonderful food this. New poetry. New music. New art. New food. New adventures. New friends. Swimming with sharks. Flying with birds. What about the “Netflix of Human History”? A theater where events of human history can be seen. See Sampson bring down the house on the Philistines. See Jesus and Peter walking on the water. See who killed JFK—Just saying I’m curious. I don’t know about you, but this makes me excited.

3. God is there. Jesus is there. Heaven is for God’s people. Everyone has a day coming. It’s a face to face with Jesus coming out of the sky or a resurrection day. You have to be ready. You have to be the bride waiting for the Bridegroom. You have to be the worker being fruitful anticipating the Master’s return. Then one day we’ll be around the throne of God. Every tear wiped away. No more death and dying. You have to wake up every day with the realization that Today may be The Day. Be ready. See if your friends and loved ones are ready.

I’m ready. Are you?

Happy are those who Celebrate Recovery!!!

Happy are those who Celebrate Recovery.

The end is only the beginning--My experience

I have had a tremendous fear of death since I was a child. During my childhood people just disappeared and I was told they died. There was no cancer or heart attacks or strokes and there were no funerals. We may not have attended funerals because we didn’t have a car when I was growing up. It may have been because my mother was trying to shield us from death. So I always imagined people falling into a peaceful sleep forever. As you might imagine this naïve perspective could not last long. I watched a movie on Nostradamus and became terrified of dying in a nuclear attack. End of innocence.

Next was my closely related fear of hell. Because of some of the poor choice I had made in my life and because of what I had been taught about salvation, I was in constant fear that I would go to hell when I died. Some of my blogs will explain why I found it incredibly unfair that I would have survived so much only to go to hell.

Last year my aunt died after a short battle with lung cancer. She was in her early 50′s. The year before that my daughter’s boyfriend struggling with kidney failure died of a massive heart attack at 25 before my granddaughter was born. My little brother died in his 20′s. My very good friend from high school had a massive heart attack in her early 30′s. If you are fortunate, you die in your sleep at a good old age. In reality it may be a car crash, a capsized boat, a brain eating amoeba, AIDS, Cancer, heart attack, stoke, a hit and run, a gunman’s bullet as you pump gas, or thousands other causes.

The bottom line is WE ARE ALL DYING.

How do I respond to that? That depends on your belief system. If I believed that there was no God and no heaven and no hell, death would be more frightening to me. It would be a matter of just ceasing to exist. I would mean my life was essentially a long walk on a short pier that will unexpectantly drop off and I will disappear. That would mean this life is it.

I believe that all the people I’ve lost are not lost. They are not even lost to me. I know that I’ll see them again. My growing faith is making so many things clearer for me. I do not fear death anymore and I’m trying to raise my children not to fear it either. My son at 9 or 10 said it best. He said I don’t fear death, I fear dying. I fear dying in pain and fear. I fear dying badly. But I don’t fear death. The transition is what causes the fear. The unknown is what causes the fear. There are things I do know. I know that death is not the end. I know that Jesus purchased my eternity and I will see Him face to face one day. I know that I have a Father that loves me whose presence I will be in forever. I know I will spend far more time in my eternal life than I will have in this earthly one. No sickness and no sadness. This live will seem like a memory in the light of eternity.
Please pray for my friend and my sister in Christ, Joan.

Be blessed.

You are not alone...

If you have read my introduction, you know that I have survived much. 

Before I don't think that I believed I had survived it.  It's sort of the difference between surviving a car accident with a broken arm versus surviving it with a traumatic brain injury. You live either way, but it's a matter of the quality of life.

But worse than the abuse and the guilt and the fear was the loneliness.

The feeling that you don't belong.  That there is something different and wrong about you.  The fear that someone would take a look at you and know. 

The need to hide the sadness and the fear behind happy smiles and good grades. Sleep and alcohol.  Pills and drugs. 

You think that no one understands....
And sometimes they don't.   They can't....

I didn't get out of bed, not because I'm lazy, but because I can't pretend one more day.

I drink, drug, party, sex not because I enjoy it, but because for an hour the voices in my head are silent.  Or I cut myself because it's the pain I can control that distracts me from the pain I can't control.

If you've never felt overwhelming depression, panic, anxiety, fear, paranoia, delusions, you can't understand it.  You may doubt it is real or think it's over exaggerated.

IT'S REAL!!!
IT REALLY HURTS THIS MUCH!!
I'M DYING INSIDE!!!

But..there is an answer.  God can heal.  Tell someone!!  Preacher, Teacher, Mom, Dad, a Crises Counselor. Tell someone!! If that doesn't work, TELL SOMEONE ELSE.

Then you can begin to exchange Satan's LIES for God's Truth.  It's not a short journey or an easy journey, but I promise you can have peace and joy and happiness.

Jesus eyes

 Have you seen them before? Or someone like them? What do you imagine their story is?

 

ABUSE?                               DRUGS?

MURDER?                           PSYCHIATRIC PROBLEMS?

 

Do you move to the other side of the street?  Clutch your purse or your children a little closer? Or do you try to see past the exterior and see something more?

Can you see this little boy who wanted to be a fireman when he grew up, not an addict?

The little girl before the voices that she couldn't get away from? Before the bad people got to them? Before the RAGE...SADNESS...HOPELESSNESS.....?

 

Can you tell them that Jesus loves them?  That no matter where they've been, that Jesus died for them. That they can have PEACE...JOY....HOPE....?

 

Can you see them with Jesus eyes??

 

Isaiah 61:1-4

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
² To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
³ To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified



 

Celebrate Recovery

  I discovered Celebrate Recovery in January of this year.  It has been the best thing I've ever done for me.  It's a recovery program based on God's ability and desire to heal our hurts, habits and hangups.  I've built more relationships in the last 5 months than I have in the first 39 years of my life.  I've discovered that we are not meant to live this life alone.  I hug people when I cringed at people's touch.  I speak to absolute strangers instead of hiding in a corner trying to be invisible.  Fear, worry, anxiety and depression are receding as God's love and purpose fill my life.  I've tried therapy and medication to "fix me" but only God's love heals.

I think introductions are in order

Hi, all.  I want to blog about my ascendance to happiness.  Truthfully, I've had a crappy life for the first 38 years.   Let's give it a quick rundown.  Child abuse, depression, low self esteem, no father to speak of, perfectionist personality, rapist boyfriend, death of a brother, mother issues, marriage issues, anger issues fear of death and hell--how long can I make this blog?  But in the last 40 days, I have begun to feel like I can make it.  That I am a person worthy of happiness and prosperity .  I don't believe the God is playing a continual practical joke on me.  My favorite phrase was my life is like a Shakespearean tragedy. I would love to spread a story of hope and encouragement to the world.